I had a paper route when I was a kid. I was a paperboy. I was supposed to go to…
Random Funny Jokes
A man walked into McDonald's with a knife in his back. His heart wasn't in danger until he ordered the…
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up; so which one’s the real hero?
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin size bed and wondered where my brother was.
I used to do drugs — I still do, but I used to, too.
A new study says Facebook users can be affected by the mood of their friends. For example, if your friend…
A quick way to start a conversation is to say something like ‘What’s your favorite color?’ A quick way to…
I like parties, but I don’t like piñatas because the piñata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there’s a donkey…
Some jokes are short and elegant, like a mathematical proof or a midget in a ball gown.
I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And thats when I realized that…
According to a new study, the number of car crashes linked to marijuana has risen. Fortunately, when the cars crashed…
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
If I agree with you, we'll both be wrong.
If a tomato is a fruit, isn't ketchup technically a smoothie?
Stalking - When two people go for a long romantic walk together and only one of them knows it.
Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
One time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a…
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.
I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles.
I like when good things happen to me, but I wait two weeks to tell anyone because I like to…
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?