This week in Presidential race news: Donald Trump is still an asshole. That is all
Hey America, took you friggin' long enough.
See Thomas hit See Thomas run See Thomas slide C. Thomas Howell
Back in my day, a spoiler alert was when someone yelled "Grandma's here!"
You got the stuff? Of course I got the stuff, mon. haven't you heard any of my music?
The struggle Israel
Now its your turn to do the Truffle Shuffle!!!
Never tell a Polar Bear that Pepsi is better than Coke!
No, Swiper! For the love of God, No swiping!!!
She needs help. Lets make like republicans and ignore her!
Redneck pick up lines
Literal representation of GOP negotiation tactics
When someone on your marketing team says you can't put "douche" on your label. Challenge accepted.
I was just kidding about the third term
Sometimes all you need is a little ass
Oh good! She's having a baby!
The Dali Llama
that is definitely a fart. yep. she farted.
I'm finally gonna hold my baby for the first time but first let me take a selfie
My mixtape so fire I had to stop listening to it on the bus
"I got bricks in the hood" "yeah right"
Lookin' for love in Alderaan places
Luke Y U no come 2 the dark side?
May the 4th be with you
And the award for the worlds most ironic magazine cover goes to..."Modern Role Models, Miley Cyrus"
When a guy says " You're so pretty, why are you single?" Cuz I'm a bitch. duh!
Kylie Jenner lip challenge strikes again
Apparently, drowning really is a laughing matter
Happy 4,637 billionth birthday Earth! Or 6,129th, in Christian Years
That moment you realize you smoked way too much on 4/20
Happy Birthday, Willie For real, he was born 4/20, I swear, go research it! Ok now that they are gone,…
Then he asked my mama if he could claim me on his tax return
I can't feel my LEGS!!!
A sandstorm hit Dubai recently, giving the city a natural red filter and leaving millions of Instagram users totally #jelly
You know you got too much fiber in your diet when you literally droppin logs
I have a "surprise" for you in my pants *wink wink*
When the head so good I be like
Oh no, Baby!! I swear it's not what it looks like!
... Then I said I haven't crawled through this much mud since I went on a date with Richard Gere!
Maybe she just dropped her keys in the toilet While she was blowing that guy in the public restroom
Fuck lasagna it's St. Patty's Day!!
Happy Dress Like A Leprechaun If You're A Midget Day!
When U accidentally switch to your front camera and ur just there like:
I think you should see a doctor
I wax on and he wax off
Im trying to be....So keep it on the....
So, what do you think of my new white and gold shirt?
And that's why they call it a wiener dog.
I always knew that I'd never become a lawyer, as I struggle to pass a bar.
My parents used to stuff me with candy when I was a kid. M&M’s, Jujubes, SweeTarts. I don’t think they…
I wonder if Halloween is the one day of the year Lady Gaga wears sensible slacks.
In pop culture news, Lady Gaga got married. And yes, she was wearing white meat.
A gang member turned rabbi has been arrested in New York for impersonating a police officer. A gang member, a…
It was announced today that the head of the TSA will retire after 31 years. I guess he wants to…
CBS will soon offer a paid subscription service. That means you can continue to watch CBS for free or you…
All NFL teams have received a newsletter informing them about the dangers of Ebola. Meanwhile, Ebola has received a letter…
I recently attended a pro-drug rally... in my basement.
Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're…
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to…
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a…
The search engine Bing has a new feature that can predict who will lose in the midterm elections — because…