Then he asked my mama if he could claim me on his tax return
I can't feel my LEGS!!!
A sandstorm hit Dubai recently, giving the city a natural red filter and leaving millions of Instagram users totally #jelly
You know you got too much fiber in your diet when you literally droppin logs
I have a "surprise" for you in my pants *wink wink*
When the head so good I be like
Oh no, Baby!! I swear it's not what it looks like!
... Then I said I haven't crawled through this much mud since I went on a date with Richard Gere!
Maybe she just dropped her keys in the toilet While she was blowing that guy in the public restroom
Fuck lasagna it's St. Patty's Day!!
Happy Dress Like A Leprechaun If You're A Midget Day!
When U accidentally switch to your front camera and ur just there like:
I think you should see a doctor
I wax on and he wax off
Im trying to be....So keep it on the....
So, what do you think of my new white and gold shirt?
And that's why they call it a wiener dog.