You might be a redneck if you keep a chainsaw in the trunk “just in case”.
You might be a redneck if you can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can’t remember how old your children are.
You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
You might be a redneck if there has ever been crime scene tape on your front door.
You might be a redneck if your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
How do you know if you are at a redneck’s wedding? The bride keeps calling the groom daddy.
How do you know its Thanksgiving in a redneck’s home? The raccoon is served with yams and cornbread.
A redneck comes home to his family after having seen the dentist. His wife asked, “What did he say?” The redneck replied, “He said he wanted to see my teeth. That’s why I’m back, I left them upstairs.”
3 rednecks are walking towards their car. One yells, “Shotgun” and the others duck.