Pope Francis will bring a rabbi and a Muslim leader with him when he travels to the Holy Land this week. Or as bartenders put it, “We’ve been expecting you.”
A self taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.
I don’t need a million dollars, just enough that I can stare off into space while I pump gas.
Someone who doesn’t want to associate with black people owning an NBA franchise is like a vegan buying a steakhouse.
What do your boss and a slinky have in common? They’re both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.
What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office? I can clearly see “you’re” nuts….
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.