When you become senile, you won’t know it.
Dogs are forever in the pushup position.
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
A retired husband is a wife’s full time job.
We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.
Our house is child proof but they still get in.
I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
This shirt is ‘dry clean only’ — which means it’s dirty.
An escalator can never break — it can only become stairs.